If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
there is puke in my bra ... again
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