great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
