she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize