I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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