so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
