his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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