The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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