3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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