this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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