Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
