I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
