so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize