Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
