Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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