And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Your cock deserves a montage
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
