Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
