What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Randomize
