Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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