I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
