So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I intend to get homeless drunk
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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