Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
