great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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