you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Success! We fucked roommates!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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