Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
