apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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