I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
