No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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