just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Two words: nipple clamps
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