So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
