Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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