What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
