Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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