the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I want a musical about memes.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
