is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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