Whod you bang
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
