So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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