Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
