Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
