Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
