Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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