So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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