pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
