Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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