What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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