Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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