The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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