If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
