she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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