butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i think my mom watched the whole time
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
