Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
