Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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