Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
