life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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