i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
