Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
