$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
