god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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