There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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