Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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