I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
