Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize