So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize