After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
